How to be a Good “Mom Friend”

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A little over four years ago, I was blessed enough to begin this wonderful journey into motherhood. Almost automatically I realized how important it was to have mom friends and what makes them different.

Within the first week of my daughter’s birth, what was basically my only mom friend at the time brought me a homemade meal. This is the first step in being a  good “mom friend”

Bring Food.

I don’t care if you aren’t a good cook. Anyone can cook spaghetti and buy a loaf of french bread. And to a new mom anything that is hot, doesn’t come from a box, and she doesn’t have to cook is amazing.

If you want to be a super mom friend. Bring one meal to eat then and one meal for mom to stick in her freezer and heat up later.

Listen to Stories about Bodily Functions

Moms of all stages need to talk about their children’s bodily functions. From dirty diapers and potty training to spontaneous throwing up and snotty noses – nothing is off limits for mom.

I will never forget the first time I saw a fellow mom literally catch her child’s vomit in her hands. Do not let this freak you out. Mom’s catch throw up, examine dirty diapers, and suction snot like champs.

Sometimes moms need someone to ask about this too. Just listen. Assure mom that yes her child will eventually pee in the potty. No he isn’t the first kid to ever pee in the church yard. Those others diners will get over the throw up smell.

Don’t Get Mad When She Doesn’t Call/Text Back

I meant to text you back. And then I looked up from my phone and in the five seconds it took me to read your text one child emptied a bin of toys, one was trying to pull up underneath the kitchen table, and the other needs Cheeto Puffs now!

Moms are busy people. Moms don’t get a lot of sleep. Moms are scatterbrained a lot.

If you need something text again. I won’t be offended.

Toys are My Home Decor

My house is too full of toys, books, walkers, swings, and high chairs to have any type of style or decoration.

Additionally, I am broke from buying said toys, books, walkers etc and have no money to spend on home decor.

Ask my husband, I choose vacation over new furniture. We had the money saved for a new couch. And then I decided adding a short trip to Disney onto our beach vacation sounded like a better idea. I only gave in and bought a new rocker, when our’s literally broke into two pieces.

Don’t Expect Me to be Stylish

First, as a breastfeeding mom, all that matters at this point is…can I feed my babies in this?

Secondly, as another mom and I were discussing, we are in that awkward clothing stage. We still have some clothes from high school. These are not appropriate to wear anymore, even if they do fit. Not because they were immodest, but I just really don’t need Hollister plastered across my chest and those jeans just don’t fit my hips quite the same three babies later. And besides that was almost ten years ago. Those clothes really aren’t in style anymore are they? But we also aren’t ready to just shop at Penny’s for all of our clothes. So where do twenty/thirty somethings buy clothes? I haven’t quite figured that out.

Third,I’m too broke from buying my kids new clothes every three months to buy new clothes. While I might not be stylish, my clothes still fit. They are constantly growing!

Understand that My House is never “Clean”

I sweep. Then the puffs container gets dumped.

I mop. Then a sippy cup gets spilled.

I clean off the kitchen table. Then we have school. Then we paint. Then we use play dough.

I wash the dishes. Then I cook. Then repeat three times.

I wash a load of laundry. Then throwing the folded laundry becomes a really fun game.

I clean, but then life happens. If I kept my home immaculate I would never spend any time with my kids. And just like I chose vacation over furniture. I choose play over dusting, as often as I can. My kids will remember those beach vacations and that time we built a fort in the living room. They won’t remember that my couch was ugly or that there were always sippy cups by the sink.

Expect My Kids to be with Me

We are fortunate enough to have both of our parents within driving distance. That means we are fortunate enough to have baby sitters occasionally. We just don’t leave our kids that often. In fact, my husband and I have been trying to go out on a morning coffee date for over a week. Between our weird schedules and the horrid stomach plaque that hit our families that date isn’t likely happening anytime soon. If I can’t get out to  go on a date with my husband, I’m probably not going to be leaving my kids to go out with friends.

This doesn’t mean we can’t be friends or hang out. It’s just that hanging out means cooking pork chops on the grill, playing board games, watching Netflix, or meeting for playdate at the park.

 

Mom friends are unique and oh so important. They are the ones that understand when you don’t talk to for days on end, because life is so busy. They are the ones who ignore your lack of fashion sense, but are honest enough to tell you when your hair is out of place. They are the ones that assure you that your child is fine and you are doing a good job.

 

 

 

 

Linking up with:

ichoosejoy.org

 

 

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